Friday, July 22, 2011

How to Dress the Bigger Bum

One of the challenges about getting chunky is that CLOTHES ARE DESIGNED FOR SKINNY BITCHES.

Over the past year and a half, as I luxuriously added 25lbs to my frame, I also reduced about 80% of my wearable wardrobe. You know it's bad news when an Ann Taylor suit looks obscene.

There was some good news on the fashion front this year as tunics and leggings were all the rage. The bad news, of course, is that tunics and leggings look like crap on just about anyone who is not Gwynth Paltrow. Exhibit A (she even has the audacity to look amazing while just, like, walking around town with her kid. "I'm just a mom! Look at my incredible ass!"):



On the other side of the celebrity-in-spandex coin is the unfortunate Jessica Simpson, who, by most measures has a cute figure. You can see that tunic/legging "look" does the average gal few favors:



Okay. So this is all to say that I am not a proponent of leggings and tunics for people over a size 4. Unless you don't mind a kindly old woman complimenting you on your "nice kaftan" or commenting that "maternity clothes are so much nicer than they were back in my day." Ahem.

So, what to wear? I generally opt for The Dress. Why? It's easy to put it on(and look pulled together), it's forgiving (important!) and it's less likely to pinch the hell out of your poor suffering waistline than your favorite pair of fat pants.

So, this is a typical "work look" for me these days (dress by Boden USA):



More fabulous photography, am I right?

CAN I TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I AM FOR THE DAY I GET TO POST ABOUT SKINNY JEANS? REALLY, REALLY EXCITED.

And what does this have to do with low-carbing? Admittedly, not much. But I am looking forward to tonight's diet friendly meal of lamb kabobs, shrimp skewers & Greek salad. Hopefully photos & recipes tomorrow. And last night I was tricked into eating a pork taco avec tortilla. Probably a skillion carbs. Full details to come.

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